We all have them. Good and bad ones. It is obvious that we would like to get rid of those that block us, scare us, which disturb us and others. But…
It’s not possible. Just as you can not unlearn good habits, you can not unlearn these bad one too. You can’t get up one morning and tell yourself, I will not touch coffee or cigarettes from now on . It doesn’t work like that.
If you know someone who has managed to change something from day to day, then I must fail you, it did not happen in one day and in one moment. Our mind can not change the behavior stored on the autopilot jst like that. It’s physically impossible. This changes love Holywood. The serial killer turns into a loving husband, a loving husband in a maniac, a wild child to success businessman. Only that it did’t happen in one day.
it’s a process.
Even if not physical, it’s psychic. Before someone makes a decision about change, it precedes a thought process.
It must either disturb him (you love donuts, but your weight has already exceeded 100 kg and you find it difficult to move), or suffer from it (you have depression and if you do not do something, you will land in a health center or in a cementery), or have something to motivate (if you earn the right amount, go on a dream holiday). All these changes are caused by something. Psychologists claim that this happens only in two ways.
Or we suffer so much that we can not stand the situation anymore. Optionally, we found something that motivated us so much and excited that we need to change something to get it.
The whole process of CHANGING HABITS takes a long time. Some say that it takes just 21 days to get a habit. Yes and no. 21 days is enough to plant a grain of change, something that our mind will start to perceive as something repetitive, or important. This is very important. For what we do every day, routinely our mind will pay more attention. Unfortunately, our head can not contain everything, so it has to work in a selective way. For this most of the time works on the learned autopilot (because who would like to learn every day how to tie laces). But our head is also lazy and likes to take shortcuts. So that you do not overwork.
So the whole change process begins after three weeks.
But you need more weeks to let what you do get into a permanent habit. So if, for example, in situations of stress, you reach for a cigarette, because you can not just say that you will not do it from now on. Stress is an impulse followed by any action that is to lead to a specific goal. In this case, it calms down. Stress can not be eliminated from our lives, but you can change the reactions that come with it.
So the next time you feel that a stressful situation is approaching, do something different. Awaken your head. Reach for the rubber to throw, start to jump, breathe deeply, drink water (choose something that will not only be less harmful but also beneficial for you). Will a glass of water taste better than a cigarette – it will not be. For the first, second and thirteenth time, it will not be. Your brain will defend itself every time, because change is work, work is an effort, and you do not want to change your mind.
Before you start clinging to your laziness, you must know that the lazy brain has its purpose and task. The only task your brain has is to keep you alive, and believe me, I will do everything to do it. And he does not want to use precious fuel for changes and calculations from scratch.
But you must do it against him, against all of his arguments. You will see that after a dozen or so days it will be easier for you, and after a few months it will get you so bloody that you will not remember how it was before.